Little Kings Cream Ale

Another gift from my father, thanks pops! I did a little digging into the history of Hudepohl Brewing Company and found out they were purchased by the Boston Beer Co in 1997 after almost a century of financial problems. That would make me 16 years old at the time, which was prime drinking time for me. I know I indulged in a few of these bad boys before I was of legal drinking age!

Little Kings aren't too bad if you are looking for a smooth drinker to get you through a hot summer day. This beer is pretty crisp with a lot of malt in the aftertaste (they sell it in 40 ounce variety as well if that gives you an idea of the malt factor) but it still doesn't come off as a super cheap beer. The weird thing about this beer is I didn't find it very 'creamy' but to tell you the truth I don't think I would have liked it if I did.

I would be fine with having a few of these cute little bottles on hand when I am not being a beer snob and would just like a simple beer. Little Kings is definitely a step up from an Old Style or PBR without the dramatic price increase that comes with most craft beers. Middle ground is not a bad place to be.

Musical pairing: Kiss- Destroyer

Samuel Adams Longshot Weizenbock

This beer smells like bananas, which really makes me not want to drink it. Somewhat malty, slightly spicy with (I swear to you) an aftertaste that tastes like banana bubble gum. Maybe more of a Laffy Taffy than bubble gum, but not something you want in your beer.

The sad thing is this would be a decent beer if it weren't for that bizarre flavoring. It isn't something you could even get used to. It just does not work and could never work. Another beer ruined because it had to have a quirky motif instead of a good solid foundation. I'm starting to understand why Joe Q Public thinks that craft beers are pretentious and fruity. If this was the first craft beer I had ever had, which it might be for some, I would reach for a Budweiser to chase away the taste. At least I know that would be banana free.

Yeah, not a great night for me.

Samuel Adams Irish Red Ale

'This rich and malty ale originated in Ireland in 1710. It has a deep red color and distinctive caramel flavor from its Pale and Caramel malts. The malt sweetness is balanced by the earthy notes of East Kent Goldings hops. Cheers!'

Fake Irish beer #3!

Not a fan of this beer. I don't think the amount of malt in this beer goes well with the Irish red style at all. It's really malty. I think its pretty similar to Killians (which may or may not be on the list), which is not in its favor. Mass produced Ales are always so heavy on the carbonation that they become hard to drink, this beer being no exception. Caramel is the most distinct flavor kicking around in Samuel Adams Irish Red Ale, to the point where it is the only flavor easy to pinpoint.

This stuff is so carbonated its drying out my mouth after two beers. I know I have been exceptionally picky lately but this stuff annoys me. Fake Irish week was going pretty well until Samuel Adams Irish Red Ale came along and bored the hell out of me. It looks nice at least?

Samuel Adams Longshot Grape Pale Ale

This beer is just as vile and wrong as you assume it tastes. I mean grape pale ale? Who the fuck thinks of this stuff? Apparently a woman in Hawaii does and concocted this disgusting brew, probably while cackling over a cauldron stirring in toad eyes and cigarette butts. Longshot Grape Pale Ale tastes like there is a stale piece of chewed grape gum floating around the bottom of the bottle of an already shitty beer. It did not get better.

Samuel Adams obviously had the best of intentions when they released this homebrew, but they have opened Pandora's box when they decided to go grape. This stuff did not need to happen, let alone be mass produced for a consumer market expected to spend money on it! No one should buy this, even though it is packaged with a beer that is not nearly as harmful. It really is that horrible. Don't even try it, no matter how curious you are!